Dragon's Den Roleplay

Me and my friends like to play dragons den at work in the hope of one day becoming famous business celebrities like richard branson and robert maxwell.  Like all truly self made people, this starts at the bottom and works up.









I need a minute to consider your proposal.

I have considered your proposal and I think we can make beautiful business together.  The rest of you can choke on a hot mouthful of liquid assets

From: Stephen Johnson [mailto:xxxxx]
Sent: 22 September 2011 15:35
To: Mike Curran; Brendan Curran
Cc: xxxxxx
Subject: RE: Beef Dynamite

Hi Mike. I like you. Your supreme business nous, pant-loosening charisma and clinical presentation skills had me at hello. But what really clinched the deal was your portfolio of upper echelon business diagrams. I would like to make an offer of 25 pence, a bag of Maltesers and a used Warner Brothers Basingstoke cinema ticket for a 173.5% stake in your company? To sweeten the deal I will allow you to sit in my Ferrari for five minutes every quarter on the proviso you keep your grubby little mitts out of the glove compartment.

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From: Mike Curran [mailto:xxxx]
Sent: 22 September 2011 15:18
To: Brendan Curran
Cc: P.xxxxxxx; Stephen Johnson
Subject: RE: Beef Dynamite

Hello Brendan,

First of all, thank you for your interest.  With regards to your first question, I have a distinguished background in accounting practices and business forecasting, so naturally I brought some of this information along with me today.  Please study the graph below to get an idea of just what a sound investment opportunity Beef Dynamite represents:

Through my own private investigation skills I was able to identify the purchasing manager for Tesco in the UK and Europe.  Being tenacious and passionate about the quality of my product, I set up a small 2 season tent in his front garden and posted free samples of Beef Dynamite through his letterbox every day for 2 weeks.  We are now negotiating the terms of my restraining order through an intermediary.

Any others?

From: Brendan Curran
Sent: 22 September 2011 15:04
To: Mike Curran
Cc: xxxxx
Subject: RE: Beef Dynamite

Hello Mike, Brendan here.

I’ve got a few questions about your projections for this product.  What are your profit forecasts for your first year of trading?  Have you been in contact with any distributors, and if so, how far have you got in negotiations?

From: Peter Brown [mailto:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]
Sent: 22 September 2011 14:20
To: Mike Curran
Cc: 'Stephen Johnson'
Subject: RE: Beef Dynamite

Hello, Im Duncan, Ey, youKnow, ey, ey ‘Scotish lingo here’ I’ve been eating a similar product for years, ey, ey, you know.. there is nothing original here.. having said that.. I’m going to make you an offer.. Shit on Debras face and Ill have 75% of the business..

From: XXXX
Sent: 22 September 2011 14:15
To: Stephen Johnson
Cc: Peter Brown
Subject: Beef Dynamite

Hello Dragons,

I come before you today to ask for an investment of £20,000 and 50,000 uniquely hand-painted hard boiled eggs for a 5% stake in my company:  Beef Dynamite Holdings GmbH.

The ethos behind my company is simple:  I want to provide the lowest cost homogenised meat-derivative based snack food that can legally be sold for human consumption.  I believe there is a gap in the market that we can effectively grout closed (thanks to its semi-solid texture) with our product Beef Dynamite.

I am targeting the snack savvy young professional who doesn’t have time or the inclination to wait for toasted coffee shop paninis.  When you’ve been biting people’s heads off since 7am the last thing you want to eat is something else that you have to waste energy chewing.  For top dogs in the dog eat dog world of business there is only one natural choice for lunch, and we have partnered with leading animal waste disposal firms to create it (Beef Dynamite contains no less than 30% canine connective tissue).  To reinforce this rugged brand image, I have invested my elderly grandmother’s life savings in a hard-hitting and masculine advertising campaign:

The money you invest will be used to fund my on-going legal struggle with the Food Standards Agency, who have accused me of false advertising.  They claim that Beef Dynamite cannot be marketed as a beef product because it only contains 1% beef (hearts) and cannot be sold as dynamite because it contains only 15% nitro-glycerine.  I am challenging them in court and expect a positive outcome given my robust argument that nobody ever tried to smoke candy cigarettes and Mars bars do not in fact contain any extra-terrestrial material.

The uniquely hand painted hard boiled eggs will be used to decorate my caravan.

Does anybody have any questions?